i already hear my dad disowning me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
