Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
