Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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