I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Randomize
