Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
