Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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