Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
