Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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