I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
