he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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