hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
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I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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