Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
