do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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