Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
