We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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