Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
