So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
