so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
