so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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