i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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