Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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