you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize