Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
