Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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