unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
