I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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