Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
