Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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