Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
