I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
