You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Panties = found
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