So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
false alarm. still invincible.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
