Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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