are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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