dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
