Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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