I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize