Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
