I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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