i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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