the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
