I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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