Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
