I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
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i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
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After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The air taste purple.
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