shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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