I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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