My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
