I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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