Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i dont even know how to be here
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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