come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
