There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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