If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
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