Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
