Sry I called you an 8
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
