I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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