Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the night ended with taco bell and tears
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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