omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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