i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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