So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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