is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
All I want is dick and wine.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
